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[00:56.20]Onward, Ohauncey!
[00:58.03]To the highest room of the tallest tower...
[01:00.77]...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming!
[01:17.22]This is worse than "Love Letters". I hate dinner theater!
[01:21.12]Me, too.
[01:24.22]Whoa there, Ohauncey!
[01:27.63]Hark! The brave Prince Oharming approacheth.
[01:31.23]Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you...
[01:35.74]...then take my place as rightful king.
[01:38.80]What did she say?
[01:44.18]It's Shrek!
[01:45.85]Whoo, Shrek, yeah!
[01:49.75]Prepare, foul beast...
[01:51.98] enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar!
[01:56.79]Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee
[01:59.49]Do you mind?
[02:01.09]Do you mind? Boring!
[02:08.77]Prepare, foul beast...
[02:20.11]Someday you'll be sorry.
[02:22.95]We already are!
[02:55.48]You're right. I can't let this happen.
[02:59.82]I can't!
[03:02.32]I am the rightful King of Far Far Away.
[03:06.23]And I promise you this, Mother...
[03:08.66]...I will restore dignity to my throne.
[03:16.00]And this time,
[03:17.24]no one will stand in my way.
[03:38.36]Good morning.
[03:41.03]Good morning.
[03:44.36]Morning breath.
[03:45.53]I know. Isn't it wonderful?
[03:49.37]Good morning, good morning
[03:51.87]The sun is shining through
[03:54.41]Good morning, good morning To you
[03:56.74]And you! And you!
[04:02.78]They grow up so fast.
[04:04.62]Not fast enough.
[04:08.79]You'll be filling in for the King and Queen.
[04:11.62]Several functions require your attendance, sir.
[04:14.96]Great! Let's get started.
[04:18.40]Oome on, lazybones. Time to get moving!
[04:22.07]You need to get a pair ofjammies.
[04:31.78]I got some sleep and I needed it
[04:35.15]Not a lot, just a little bit
[04:38.02]Someone's always trying to keep me from it
[04:41.25]It's a crying shame
[04:44.76]It's a royal pain in the neck
[04:47.26]I knight thee.
[05:10.78]If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one.
[05:14.05]Oan somebody come in and work on Shrek?
[05:18.96]I will see what I can do.
[05:41.65]Yeah, wow.
[05:44.15]Is this really necessary?
[05:47.42]Quite necessary, Fiona.
[05:49.22]- I'm Shrek, you twit. - Whatever.
[05:52.16]This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle!
[05:56.00]Smiles, everyone! Smiles!
[05:58.06]I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
[06:01.67]I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it?
[06:04.74]It's just until Dad gets better.
[06:11.51]You look handsome.
[06:13.25]Oome here, you.
[06:29.53]My butt is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit.
[06:35.03]Hey, you! Oome here. What's your name?
[06:38.10]Fiddlesworth, sir.
[06:44.38]Ladies and gentlemen...
[06:46.88]...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek!
[06:54.39]Ahh! You've got it.
[06:56.29]A little to the left.
[06:59.06]That's it! That's good.
[07:01.39]Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it.
[07:10.97]My eye!
[07:12.24]What are you doing?
[07:24.08]- Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine.
[07:30.92]Shrimp! My favorite!
[07:43.77]- That's it! We're leaving! - Oalm down.
[07:46.61]Oalm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre.
[07:51.68]I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be.
[07:59.35]I think that went well.
[08:02.22]Oome on, Shrek!
[08:04.46]Some people just don't understand boundaries.
[08:16.97]Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home...
[08:21.71] our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus...
[08:25.14]...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect.
[08:28.18]You had me at "vermin-filled".
[08:31.65]And, um... maybe even the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor.
[08:36.99]That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning.
[08:39.83]Uh, no.
[08:41.33]What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat.
[08:46.33]No, Shrek. What if, theoretically...
[08:51.27]...they were little ogre feet?
[08:59.85]Honey, let's be rational about this.
[09:03.35]Have you seen a baby lately?
[09:05.85]They just eat and poop, and they cry...
[09:09.19]...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry.
[09:12.69]Now, imagine an ogre baby.
[09:15.63]They extra-cry and they extra-poop.
[09:19.57]Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family?
[09:23.30]Right now, you're my family.
[09:30.88]Somebody better be dying.
[09:34.98]I'm dying.
[09:42.89]Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian.
[09:46.12]Of course, darling.
[09:51.00]Yes, Daddy?
[09:52.66]I know I made many mistakes with you.
[09:56.40]It's okay.
[09:58.00]But your love for Shrek has...
[10:01.07]...taught me much.
[10:04.61]My dear boy...
[10:06.75]...I am proud to call you my son.
[10:10.15]And I'm proud to call you my frog...
[10:13.42]...King dad-in-law.
[10:15.99]Now there is a matter of business to attend to.
[10:31.94]The Frog King... is dead.
[10:43.12]Put your hat back on, fool.
[10:46.95]...please come hither.
[10:52.46]Yeah, Dad?
[10:53.96]This kingdom needs a new king.
[10:58.46]You and Fiona are next in line for the throne.
[11:04.80]Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you.
[11:09.14]Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes.
[11:16.15]Oome on, Dad. An ogre as king?
[11:19.99]That's not such a good idea.
[11:22.65]There must be somebody else. Anybody!
[11:26.09]Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir.
[11:31.43]Really? Who is he, Dad?
[11:34.77]His name is...
[11:39.40]What's his name?
[12:03.03]His name is Arthur.
[12:10.87]I know you'll do...
[12:14.21]...what's right.
[12:21.38]Dad? Dad!
[12:26.22]Do your thing, man.
[12:57.75]When you were young and your heart
[13:01.75]Was an open book
[13:05.92]You used to say live and let live
[13:10.20]You know you did, you know you did You know you did
[13:14.33]But if this ever changing world In which we live in
[13:20.27]Makes you give in and cry
[13:26.95]Say live and let die
[13:32.55]Live and let die
[14:10.72]Hey, lady You, lady
[14:15.49]Cursing at your life
[14:18.33]You're a discontented mother
[14:22.67]And a regimented wife
[14:51.03]What does a prince have to do to get a drink here?
[14:55.53]Ah, Mabel!
[14:57.37]Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know.
[15:02.87]Where's Doris? Taking the night off?
[15:06.11]She's not welcome here, and neither are you.
[15:11.55]What do you want, Oharming?
[15:13.72]Not much. Just a chance at redemption.
[15:19.39]And a Fuzzy Navel.
[15:20.99]And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends!
[15:28.50]We're not your friends.
[15:32.34]You don't belong here.
[15:34.61]You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us?
[15:38.91]Do a number on his face.
[15:40.68]Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think.
[15:45.42]Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened?
[15:49.45]Oh, what's it to you?
[15:50.69]They left you the unfairest of them all.
[15:53.09]Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal.
[15:57.76]How does that feel?
[16:05.07]Pretty unfair.
[16:06.81]And you!
[16:08.34]Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father.
[16:14.48]I hate that little wooden puppet.
[16:16.72]And Hook.
[16:18.82]Need I say more?
[16:24.12]- And you, Frumpypigskin! - Rumpelstiltskin.
[16:27.03]Where's that firstborn you were promised?
[16:32.06]Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot...
[16:36.10]...into that tiny glass slipper?
[16:40.67]Oinderella is in Far Far Away right now...
[16:44.34]...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature...
[16:49.51]...that has ever done you wrong!
[16:52.12]Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers.
[16:57.19]But there are two sides to every story...
[17:00.23]...and our side has not been told!
[17:02.89]So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once?
[17:07.90]Who wants their...
[17:09.70]..."happily ever after"?
[17:30.06]This way, gents.
[17:43.07]It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny.
[17:48.24]But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life.
[17:52.18]As are you.
[17:54.75]And, uh, you.
[17:57.25]I don't know you, but I'd like to.
[18:01.59]I got to go!
[18:04.32]I don't wanna leave you either.
[18:06.16]But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me.
[18:09.93]But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day!
[18:14.60]Be strong, babies.
[18:16.10]Ooco, Peanut, listen to your mama.
[18:18.67]Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head.
[18:24.68]That's my special boy!
[18:26.44]Oome here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug!
[18:38.46]Maybe you should just stay and be King.
[18:42.89]Oome on. There's no way I could run a kingdom.
[18:46.56]That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice.
[18:49.70]It's not that. You see...
[18:52.37]And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason.
[18:56.98]Here's persuasion... and here's reason.
[19:04.25]...soon it's just going to be you, me...
[19:07.65]...and our swamp.
[19:11.16]It's not going to be just you and me.
[19:14.93]All aboard!
[19:18.00]It will be. I promise.
[19:22.00]I love you.
[19:30.11]That's lovely.
[19:31.91]Bye-bye, babies!
[19:43.52]- Wait! - What is it?
[19:45.86]I'm... I'm...
[19:51.36]I love you, too, honey!
[19:53.36]No! I said I'm...
[19:59.20]You're what?
[20:00.77]I said I'm pregnant!
[20:07.38]What was that?
[20:08.98]You're going to be a father!
[20:13.89]That's great!
[20:15.82]Really? I'm glad you think so!
[20:19.22]I love you!
[20:22.89]Me, too! You!
[20:29.10]I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle!
[20:32.74]And you, my friend, are royally...
[21:57.36]Oh, no.
[22:01.93]Better out than in, I always say.
[22:14.51]No, no, no!
[22:18.01]It's okay. It's gonna be all right.
[22:25.85]Stop! Hey, wait!
[23:17.40]Donkey. Donkey!
[23:19.07]Wake up!
[23:26.51]Shrek! Are you okay?
[23:30.25]I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen?
[23:35.92]Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman...
[23:40.26]...a powerful urge sweeps over him.
[23:42.93]I know how it happened.
[23:46.26]I just can't believe it.
[23:51.10]How does it happen?
[23:59.94]And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
[24:05.35]Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon
[24:08.12]When you coming home, son? I don't know when
[24:10.86]But we'll get together then, Dad.
[24:13.29]Donkey! Oan you just cut to the part
[24:15.43]where you're supposed to make me feel better?
[24:18.70]You know I love Fiona, boss. Right?
[24:21.37]What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat...
[24:25.57] ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing.
[24:31.31]Don't listen to him!
[24:33.31]Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life.
[24:36.15]It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's.
[24:40.82]When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre"...
[24:45.26]...or "as nurturing as an ogre"...
[24:47.83]...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre."
[24:52.33]Okay. I get it.
[24:54.23]It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you.
[24:57.84]That's true.
[24:59.67]I'm doomed.
[25:01.27]You'll be fine.
[25:03.84]You're finished.
[25:08.01]Uh, with yourjourney.
[25:18.86]"Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? Now that sounds fancy!
[25:23.43]It's Worcestershire.
[25:24.90]Like the sauce?
[25:26.86]It's spicy!
[25:32.04]They must be expecting us.
[25:39.78]What in the shista-shire kind of place is this?
[25:42.71]Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school.
[25:48.05]High school?
[25:49.35]Ready? Okay!
[25:51.06]Wherefore art thou headed, to the top?
[25:53.62]Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped?
[25:57.73]Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not!
[26:05.47]All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins.
[26:12.81]For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh.
[26:16.65]I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies!
[26:20.28]How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants?
[26:25.09]Let's just say some things are better left unsaid.
[26:28.13]So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you."
[26:32.33]- Oh, totally. - Pardon me.
[26:34.80]- Totally ew-eth. - Yeah, totally.
[26:39.20]I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability.
[26:41.94]Hi. We're looking for someone named...
[26:44.64]Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped?
[26:51.02]I know you're busy not fitting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur?
[26:55.65]He's over there.
[27:17.14]There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory!
[27:23.98]Strong, handsome, face of a leader.
[27:26.98]Does Arthur look like a king or what?
[27:33.56]Did you say you were looking for Arthur?
[27:36.33]That information is on a need-to-know basis.
[27:38.90]It's top secret!
[27:40.73]Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers!
[27:46.84]Greetings, Your Majesty.
[27:48.61]This is your lucky day.
[27:51.01]What are you supposed to be?
[27:53.24]Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something?
[27:57.52]Giant mutant... You made a funny.
[28:01.52]Unhand me, monster!
[28:03.59]Stop squirming, Arthur.
[28:05.69]I'm not Arthur.
[28:10.03]I am Lancelot.
[28:12.70]That dork over there is Arthur.
[28:21.44]This is, like, totally embarrassing...
[28:23.77]...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly.
[28:26.51]She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance.
[28:30.05]Excuse me?
[28:31.28]Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures.
[28:38.66]Oh, Arthur...
[28:40.89]...come out, come out, wherever you are!
[28:46.63]You better run, you little punk no-goodniks!
[28:49.40]The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over!
[28:58.91]Hold it.
[29:00.91]We're here for the mascot contest.
[29:07.65]We're here for the mascot contest, too.
[29:10.99]This is a costume?
[29:13.66]Worked on it all night long.
[29:16.99]Looks pretty real to me.
[29:18.93]If he were real, could I do this?
[29:23.00]Or this?
[29:25.94]If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful.
[29:30.94]- Now watch this! - That's quite enough, boys.
[29:34.28]Thank you to Professor Primbottom and his lecture...
[29:38.22]...on "just say nay".
[29:40.55]And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah...
[29:44.96] the winner of our mascot contest, the...
[29:52.70]That's right. I'm the new mascot.
[29:55.13]So let's really try and beat the other guys at...
[29:58.90]...whatever it is they're doing!
[30:05.58]This is all a bit unorthodox...
[30:08.71]Where can I find Arthur Pendragon?
[30:14.65]Hey, wait...
[30:22.03]You should be ashamed of yourself!
[30:23.86]I didn't do it. They did.
[30:31.07]Please don't eat me.
[30:32.94]Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!
[30:36.27]I'm not here to eat him!
[30:40.41]Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies.
[30:43.18]You're the new King of Far Far Away.
[30:48.75]Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville!
[31:02.30]Is this for real?
[31:03.57]Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run.
[31:08.11]So, wait... l'm really the only heir?
[31:12.11]The one and only.
[31:14.78]Give me a second.
[31:18.78]My good people...
[31:20.58]...there's a lesson here for all of us.
[31:23.45]Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think,
[31:27.89]"Hey, maybe this guy has feelings.
[31:31.13]Maybe I should cut him some slack.
[31:33.63]'Oause maybe... just maybe...
[31:37.13]...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king?
[31:40.97]Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him."
[31:46.14]I'm looking at you, jousting team!
[31:49.35]And Guin? Oh, Guin.
[31:53.42]I've always loved you.
[31:56.62]Good friends, it breaks my heart, but...
[31:59.32]...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world!
[32:02.96]Okay, let's not overdo it.
[32:04.70]I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n' roll!
[32:08.17]You just overdid it.
[32:19.18]Look at you!
[32:20.95]You look darling.
[32:22.61]Just precious. Look at her.
[32:24.95]Any cravings since you got pregnant?
[32:27.45]No. Not at all.
[32:30.92]Do you smell ham?
[32:32.79]It's present time!
[32:37.80]Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front.
[32:42.00]"Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker!
[32:46.77]"Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella."
[32:51.11]- Look at that! - What is it?
[32:54.35]It's for the poopies.
[32:56.95]Wait... babies poop?
[32:58.65]Everyone poops, Beauty.
[33:01.72]We all chipped in for a little present, too.
[33:08.23]You know the baby will love it, because I do!
[33:11.20]Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you.
[33:14.30]Who's this one from?
[33:15.83]I got you the biggest one, because I love you most.
[33:18.90]"Have one on me. Love, Snow White."
[33:24.81]What is it?
[33:26.58]He's a live-in babysitter.
[33:28.25]Where's the baby?
[33:29.48]You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this.
[33:33.68]It's nothing. I have six more at home.
[33:36.19]- What does he do? - Oleaning.
[33:38.09]- Feeding. - Burping.
[33:39.82]So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do?
[33:42.43]Work on your marriage.
[33:44.70]Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean?
[33:48.70]Oome on now, Fiona. You know what happens.
[33:53.67]You're tired all the time.
[33:55.84]You start letting yourself go.
[33:57.71]Stretch marks.
[33:59.01]Say goodbye to romance.
[34:02.68]I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids?
[34:06.25]She's right!
[34:07.95]A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have.
[34:12.52]How did Shrek react when you told him?
[34:16.53]When he first found out, Shrek said...
[34:32.54]Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters!
[34:42.55]Now... bombs away!
[35:01.24]Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan.
[35:04.24]- His name's not Peter. - Shut it, Wendy.
[35:25.26]Enough pillaging! To the castle!
[35:47.28]You go! Take care of the baby!
[35:48.89]Everybody stay calm! We're going to die!
[35:56.46]Everyone in! Now!
[35:58.73]Oome on! Put some back into it!
[36:04.20]We don't have time. Now go!
[36:05.84]Quickly, ladies!
[36:09.91]We'll hold them off as long as we can!
[36:27.16]Where are Shrek and Fiona?
[36:29.69]The name doesn't ring a bell.
[36:32.00]No bell.
[36:33.83]I suggest you freaks cooperate...
[36:37.33]...with the new King of Far Far Away!
[36:40.07]The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids!
[36:43.91]- Hook! - Right!
[36:46.34]Avast, ye cookie.
[36:51.18]Start talking.
[36:57.22]- Gingy! - Papa!
[36:58.86]Settle down now.
[37:14.20]On the good ship Lollipop
[37:17.64]It's a sweet trip to the candy shop
[37:23.05]You can't lie.
[37:25.38]So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek?
[37:32.06]Well... I don't know where he's not.
[37:35.43]You don't know where Shrek is?
[37:37.76]It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume...
[37:40.50]...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
[37:44.90]So you do know where he is!
[37:46.40]On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less
[37:49.07]not definitely rejecting the idea
[37:51.44]that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty...
[37:55.25]Stop it!
[37:56.38]...I do not know where he shouldn't be.
[37:58.65]If that indeed wasn't where he isn't.
[38:01.25]Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean...
[38:04.99]On the good ship Lollipop
[38:07.36]Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir!
[38:14.77]He's bringing back the next heir?
[38:19.44]Hook! Get rid of this new "King".
[38:22.77]But bring Shrek to me.
[38:24.78]I have something special in mind for him.
[38:28.11]He'll never fall for your tricks!
[38:31.95]Oh, boy.
[38:43.46]I can't believe it. Me, a king?
[38:46.63]I knew I came from royalty, but...
[38:49.80]...I figured everyone forgot about me.
[38:52.04]Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally.
[38:55.91]Really? Wow.
[38:59.81]But I know it's not all fun and games.
[39:02.18]It really is all fun and games, actually.
[39:05.32]Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two.
[39:09.05]By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle.
[39:13.52]Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle.
[39:17.16]Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks.
[39:20.23]This is going to be huge.
[39:22.33]Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses.
[39:27.34]You'll be living in the lap of luxury.
[39:30.34]The finest chefs will wait for your order.
[39:32.94]And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters.
[39:36.05]What do they do?
[39:37.88]Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned.
[39:42.62]- Poisoned? - Or too salty.
[39:45.36]Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe.
[39:49.03]All of them willing at a moment's notice
[39:51.43]to lay down their lives out of devotion to you.
[39:55.97]The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance.
[39:59.37]Make sure they don't die of famine!
[40:01.44]- Or plague. - Plague is bad.
[40:03.31]The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores.
[40:07.78]Festering sores! You are one funny kitty cat.
[40:12.88]What did I say?
[40:14.42]We don't want Artie getting the wrong idea.
[40:22.99]There goes my hip!
[40:24.90]Artie! What are you doing?
[40:29.00]What does it look like?!
[40:33.80]This really isn't up to you.
[40:36.41]I don't know anything about being king!
[40:39.41]You'll learn on the job!
[40:43.25]Sorry, but I'm going back.
[40:45.92]Back to what? Being a loser?
[40:51.92]Now look what you did!
[40:54.26]Look what I did? Who's holding the wheel, chief?
[41:12.94]Land ho!
[41:27.46]How humiliating.
[41:30.29]Oh, nice going, Your Highness.
[41:33.36]Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"?
[41:37.20]If you think this is getting you out of anything, it isn't.
[41:40.24]We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another...
[41:44.14]...and you're going to be a father!
[41:48.98]You just said "father".
[41:50.68]King! You're going to be king!
[41:53.55]"You're going to be king!" Yeah, right.
[41:57.75]Where are you going?
[41:59.32]Far Far Away... from you!
[42:01.93]Get back here, young man!
[42:05.86]Boss? I don't think he's coming back.
[42:08.50]Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material.
[42:11.84]When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king?
[42:15.21]Oome on. Why would I do that?
[42:18.18]Besides, he'll be ten times better at it than me.
[42:21.38]Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him.
[42:27.68]You're right, Donkey.
[42:31.86]What about this?
[42:33.52]- Shrek! - Oome on. It's just a joke.
[42:57.05]Listen, Artie.
[42:59.28]If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude.
[43:04.55]I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof.
[43:08.83]But what I am screamin' is, yo...
[43:11.09]...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby!
[43:14.43]If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying
[43:16.67]ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't!
[43:19.74]You're getting on my last nerve."
[43:22.31]And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack!
[43:28.25]I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!
[43:31.78]- Artie, wait. - Oome on! Help! Hello?
[43:36.92]Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
[43:40.76]Welcome to my serenity circle.
[43:42.83]Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
[43:47.10]Now prepare to...
[43:54.60]I knew I should have got that warranty!
[44:00.34]Mr. Merlin?
[44:01.95]You know this guy?
[44:03.55]Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown.
[44:07.95]Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue.
[44:11.45]At the request of my therapist,
[44:13.69]and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature
[44:17.46]to discover my divine purpose.
[44:21.13]Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage?
[44:24.67]Uh, no.
[44:25.90]Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin?
[44:32.14]It's organic.
[44:33.74]Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in.
[44:36.31]We need directions to Far Far Away.
[44:39.38]"We"? Who said I was going with you?
[44:42.05]I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it.
[44:46.56]If the job's so great, you do it.
[44:49.16]Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out.
[44:53.56]That was your Mr. Nice Guy?
[44:56.00]Yeah, and I'm going to miss him.
[44:58.07]Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone!
[45:02.61]Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away...
[45:07.28]...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking?
[45:11.45]I could tell you, but since you're
[45:13.42]in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral,
[45:16.09]it would be karmically irresponsible.
[45:18.76]Self-destructive? Are you going to help us or not?
[45:22.56]Most definitely, but only after you
[45:25.30]take the journey to your soul!
[45:28.63]I don't think so.
[45:30.13]It's either that or primal scream therapy.
[45:36.04]All right. Journey to the soul.
[45:39.54]Now, all of you,
[45:41.54]look into the Fire of Truth
[45:44.21]and tell me what you see.
[45:50.05]Ooh, charades!
[45:52.06]Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls!
[45:56.96]Okay, monster... go for it.
[46:08.24]I see a rainbow pony.
[46:10.07]Excellent work! Now the boy.
[46:12.14]This is lame.
[46:13.74]You're lame! Now just go for it.
[46:19.75]There's a baby bird and a father bird sitting in a nest.
[46:24.32]Yes! Stay with it!
[46:27.16]The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the little bird all alone?
[46:31.83]It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to.
[46:36.17]It's going to fall!
[46:43.17]Proper head case you are. Really messed up.
[46:50.51]Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what?
[47:07.53]Look, Artie, um...
[47:14.54]Just thought I'd help set the mood...
[47:17.44]...for your big heart-to-heart chat.
[47:29.22]I know what it's like to not feel ready for something.
[47:34.89]Even ogres get scared.
[47:38.06]You know... once in a while.
[47:42.90]I know you want me to be king, but I can't.
[47:46.80]I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be.
[47:50.57]Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble.
[47:53.21]He dumped me at that school first chance he got...
[47:57.08]...and I never heard from him again.
[48:01.08]My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either.
[48:05.42]I doubt he was worse than mine.
[48:08.42]Oh, yeah?
[48:09.86]My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me.
[48:14.76]I guess I should have realized it.
[48:17.10]He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth.
[48:23.27]I guess that's pretty bad.
[48:28.11]It may be hard to believe,
[48:30.45]what, with my obvious charm and good looks,
[48:34.05]but people used to think I was a monster.
[48:37.12]And for a long time, I believed them.
[48:42.79]But after a while,
[48:44.53]you learn to ignore the names people call you
[48:48.20]and just trust who you are.
[48:52.64]You know... you're okay, Shrek.
[48:56.64]You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap.
[49:01.54]Thanks, Artie.
[49:03.31]The soap's because you stink... really bad.
[49:08.15]Yeah... I got that.
[49:14.66]This place is filthy!
[49:17.83]I feel like a hobo.
[49:20.66]I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me.
[49:23.57]Everything's always about you. It's not like your attitude is helping.
[49:28.27]Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted faires


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